Who Swiped and Made You Queen?
Updated: Jan 15, 2019
Short answer: I did.
Long answer: I'm definitely not a dating expert, I have no idea wtf I'm doing. I was in a shit relationship for YEARS and when I finally dug myself out of that grave, I had no idea how to be single. You get used to a certain rhythm with each other and you know how to function in that dynamic but then you're suddenly single and have no idea what dating means or how to meet people. So I rebounded, made crazy decisions, met trash humans and drank a lot of free alcohol. I also had to take some time to rebuild myself. Being torn down to nothing for so long makes it really difficult to trust and reconnect with people, and function in a non-psychopath way.
These posts are by NO extension, professional advice. They're more like hilarious mistakes, unwanted opinions, and crazy stories about fuck boys. I'm trying to include all of the craziness so you feel the full ride. My stories and experiences are comical, strange and definitely worth sharing...in my humble opinion. So please enjoy the tales of my journey trying to figure this dating shit out, learning to be a human-being again, and trying to find someone to just be nice to me for long enough that I can trick them in to marrying me so my mom doesn't die only having grand-dogs. FYI I use a lot of language. I make a lot of jokes about offing myself and wanting to die. That's my only disclaimer. I'm not actually trying to die, my mental health isn't that bad. I'm just a millennial. Take it or fuck off.