Want to laugh? Want to cry? Want to wince in pain from sheer awkwardness? Maybe something below can help with that. Buckle up and good luck, bitches.

  • Becky

Valentine's Day pt. 3 - Je Ne Parle Pas Francais

Oooooo French. What could be more romantic? Well I don't speak French so that sucks some of the romance out of the situation. There's nothing quite like being on a 3rd year Valenversary dinner where your partner spends the entire time not talking to you and even when you try to suggest ridiculous things to get his attention, he's still more interested in "Frenching" the chef. Are you confused? Probably. Let me explain.

So it was our three year anniversary but we didn't keep track of our actual anniversary date. We just knew it was some time in February so we would kill 2 birds with one stone by picking a random date in February that was convenient for both of us and celebrate Valenversary: Valentine's Day + Anniversary. We would always go to luxurious restaurants so of course he wanted to go above and beyond that night. I looked fabulous from a photoshoot earlier in the day so my hair and makeup was amazing. As I mentioned in other stories, our pictures looked incredible but it was literally all down hill from there. So we're at this incredible french restaurant L'atelier, and I'm excited. We have the option to sit at a table or at the bar with a view of the kitchen and preparation. We sit at the bar (-10 points for romance). As usual, I let him order and make the wine selections as he is far more knowledgable than me in this area. We are greeted by the chef and several other management/staff etc. and from that moment, he and I no longer communicated through the rest of the evening (-50 points for romance). I uncomfortably sat there in silence because I did not speak French. Did he have to give everyone else in the building his attention over me? No. But he liked to feel important and looking like he knew everyone made him feel that way. Was a wrong for feeling ignored and left out, and wanting a little attention? Also no. It was supposed to be a special date night.

I'm not a sexually forward person. I don't do "talking dirty" but I was willing to try any cards in my hand to get him to shift his focus for even a minute that night. I whispered about going in to the bathroom and losing my panties. He literally looked at me and said "do it", then proceeded to talk to everyone else. I'm annoyed. I do not lose my panties because fuck this guy. The dinner concludes, I've finished my one drink...he's gone through about 2 bottles of wine and cocktails...per usual. After dinner, I think it was the GM and some other guy (not really sure because I DON'T SPEAK FRENCH and no one introduced themself to me) invite us to join them at this whiskey lounge thing next to the restaurant. I'm obviously not thrilled because I'd like to go home and squeeze a little time together, but of course he'd rather hang with his buddies. This goes on for almost 2 hours. Several times I hinted at wanting to leave. Even his friends were like "your girlfriend is so pretty. Why don't you guys go" and he was just like no, we're having fun...I then went to the bathroom and was considering ordering an Uber. When I come back, he is so drunk that he can't even keep up with speaking French anymore.

We are finally leaving and walking to a cab. He asks me if I had a nice time, and I lie. I say that it was very nice and the food was great (the food actually was phenomenal). He then asks me which dish was my favorite. I didn't have one...and he gets pissed. He starts raising his voice at me and making a scene in the middle of the casino. He goes in to a bathroom, and when he comes out he's in a good mood again and re-asks me what my favorite dish was. I don't know if he was brainwashed or if someone reset him and he forgot the whole conversation we just had, but I took my second chance and just picked something. He was pleased for now. We get in to the cab and he tells me that he doesn't believe me about that dish being my favorite and he asks what the order of all of the dishes was. Like, why?! Why does this matter? But I comply and recite the dishes from apps to dessert. Shockingly he starts screaming at me and telling me that I said them in the wrong order. He is carrying on and I'm staring at the cab driver in the mirror praying that he says something or kicks us out of the car or anything at all. He doesn't. Probably because he was scared about this idiot kicking his ass or something - I can't blame the guy. Anyway, in his screaming, he tells me that if I can't appreciate this $2,000 dinner then he'll just take someone else next time and starts drilling in to me about how ungrateful and undeserving of him I am. Let me just remind you, this was our anni-fuckin-versary dinner.We finally get home and he storms out of the cab and starts walking up to the house. He starts yelling at me again because I was still in the cab...but someone had to pay this poor driver! He thought we took an Uber even though they obviously look very different on the outside...I end up going to my moms house that night.

What the fuck is my life? At least my hair looks good.

When I woke up, I went and picked up the large green juice that he liked for his hangovers, some ginger shots and breakfast. I go to his place to drop everything off and he expresses how angry he was that I didn't stay the night and swears the entire cab incident never happened. I'm pretty sure I'm living in the Twilight Zone at this point, but this is what another day in paradise was like. I never got an apology. So happy Valentine's Day! Aren't you glad you're single and not dealing with that shit? Same. But I'd hate to leave you on a sad note on a check this out for a smile!



Have a story you want to share? Want to become a contributor? Or are you just looking for someone to listen to your #BeckyProblems?

Slide in to my DMs, let's chat.

                    : @BeckyProblems


©2019 by #BeckyProblems