MY NAME IS BECKY, AND I HAVE PROBLEMS

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  • Becky

Valentine's Day pt. 2 - Giant Teddy Bears are a RED FUCKING FLAG!


Have you ever had that friend who has a giant crush on some guy so she always makes you come along to hang out with his friend because "you're both asian so you'll get along"? No? That's cool your friends aren't racist dicks. So yeah, this chick (we're not friends anymore. She started doing crazy shit like posting pictures doing coke with her mom on Facebook when we were like 17 and would pretty much sleep with anything that would give her attention and I was a judgmental bitch and didn't want to be around that anymore. I'm also convinced she tried to murder my dog like 3 years ago, but that's not relevant to this story) was head over heels for this guy. He had just broken up with his girlfriend so wasn't really available for her but she was determined to force herself in to his life until he was. She did crazy things but this story isn't about her.

As I mentioned, the guy had a friend I always had to entertain so they could go suck face etc. I couldn't be LESS in to him. Maybe I'm a self hating Asian, who knows. But Asian guys don't do it for me. I'm not physically attracted to them and their personalities usually bore/annoy me. I'm a stereotype. Like men tall and white. Also I think I've had too much sugar because this is one A.D.D. tangent. GET ON TRACK WOMAN!

OKAY! THIS GUY! So we're friendly, him by choice, me by obligation. Valentine's day is approaching and he suggests getting dinner together "just as friends" since we don't have anyone to celebrate with. I tell him I'm not really feeling it and throw out every excuse in the book to politely tell him no. I fail. So I agree to dinner. He shows up at my house with one of those stupid giant teddy bears they sell at Walgreen's for like $200 and flowers. My first thought "oh fuck. Here we go. Can I just close the door and pretend I'm not home?" but obviously I couldn't do that. So we go to his Brazilian steak house restaurant. They were running some Valentine's special that included a bottle of wine and dinner and live music, blah blah blah. First of all, I don't really eat red meat because it gives me heart burn and heavy smells give me a headache so the smoke is killing me in this place. Also, they never carded us which was awkward because neither of us were 21. So we get through this dinner and he takes me home and TRIES TO FREAKIN KISS ME! Like of course he does. Bro. This was supposed to just be as friends!

So it was sad because he probably spent a lot of money on that evening to just get shot down, but also he's an idiot because I could not have told him more times that I wasn't in to him like that. I don't think we really talked much after that. The bear sat in the guest room for a year or so until I ended up giving it to my 6 year old cousin, who eventually just gave it to her dog. It was funny later down the line when I dated the guy that thought I was too loud...apparently his best friend was in the same band as this guy so of course I had to put him on blast and share the story. It was like 8 years ago, and this city is so small. It would come out eventually.

Two Valentine's Day stories wasn't enough for you? You're mad this one was so short? Jeez! You're more finicky than me. That's okay. There's a third!

 
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