MY NAME IS BECKY, AND I HAVE PROBLEMS

Want to laugh? Want to cry? Want to wince in pain from sheer awkwardness? Maybe something below can help with that. Buckle up and good luck, bitches.

 
  • Becky

Today: In the News


This date was weird. I was actually looking forward to this one because he seemed like NOT a loser. I think he may have been my first Hinge date? He was a clean cut Jewish guy, and he was actually a news anchor. Had a real, professional job, with demanding hours so he wouldn't need too much attention. That all works for me! Plus he was familiar with being in the spotlight. I didn't have to worry about him showing up under dressed, or cracking under the pressure. These were good qualities to have for me at the time. After some entertaining messages, we went back and forth rescheduling dates several times because our schedules were difficult. We finally locked things in to go to brunch...can you think of anything better than mimosas and waffles?

So we go to this place downtown, it's cute and hipster, and I like their ethical vibe. I walk in and he's waiting at a table. He stands up and is like seven feet tall. Better than being a tiny weirdo, but okay stilts. We order our food and great conversation commences. I soon find out though, he was yet another one of these weirdos that googled me so he insisted on demonstrating his pageant/model walk...in the restaurant. We're talking full Zoolander...and it went on for like...a long time. It was quite comical and terrible but was entertaining, nonetheless. We wrapped up the date and I thought he was walking me to the car, like a normal gentleman should. Especially because we were downtown! Although it's been renovated, it's still sketchy af, full of homeless and drugs. Well he didn't! Also apparently he LIVES downtown, so he just walked home. That was it. Well we never had a second date to say the least. "Timing didn't work" and then he got moved to a news station back east. Overall, I'd say this experience was underwhelming.

 
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