MY NAME IS BECKY, AND I HAVE PROBLEMS

Want to laugh? Want to cry? Want to wince in pain from sheer awkwardness? Maybe something below can help with that. Buckle up and good luck, bitches.

 
  • Becky

No, I Don't Like Margaritas...Said No One Ever

Updated: Jan 31, 2019


I don't remember which app this guy was from but probably Bumble if I had to guess. There wasn't really anything wrong with him. He just didn't click for me. But here's why. So same as the other boring guy, good enough texting conversation. This guy suggests Mexican food and this cute cantina so of course I'm in. I show up and realize this guy is petite. Like super petite. Like I could pick him up and toss him like a javelin and wouldn't need to stretch. Fun fact! Guys that have really nice photos on dating apps, usually professional, are short. There's nothing wrong with short guys, which is why I'm NEVER one of those gals that asks how tall they are up front. But I am not a short or petite lady, and I tend to wear heels. High ones. So here I am towering over this guy by like 6 inches and considered just going back to my car had he not made eye contact. Also, he kinda needed photoshop irl. Didn't look like his pictures...

So we're looking at the menu and he's like panicking over the selections because he's obviously super nervous. Some people might find this cute or endearing. I find this annoying. Screw your head on and get your shit together. We order and he frantically just says "I'll have whatever they're having" as a smoking plate of fajitas goes by. It was also happy hour so the server suggests margaritas, and of course we order them. Well this is when things got more awkward. He doesn't drink alcohol and really doesn't like margaritas. He didn't touch his drink. WHY WOULD YOU ORDER SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DRINK WEIRDO?! ALSO WHO DOESN'T LIKE MARGARITAS?!

His food also came out and it was steak fajitas...he doesn't eat red meat. So here I am enjoying my margarita and eating food while this tiny weirdo just stares at me, sweating, stuttering and squirming. Finally this interaction is over and he walks me to my car. I said bye and dove in faster than he could even give me a hug goodbye. Like thanks for the burrito but you look damp. Don't touch me. NO, I didn't say that! But I definitely though it. He text me a few times but again I was a dick and ghosted him.

Side note, ghosting is rude. Ghosting is hurtful. Ghosting is not the appropriate way to deal with terminating an interaction. I hate when people ghost me! But I am also a super ghoster because it's easier than have some weird conversation when I'm not obligated to say anything to them.

Fast forward almost two years later. I'm working at this nightclub and a popular 90's grunge band was performing. The show let out and their very famous drummer was coming to our club to perform, so ALL of the fans were desperately trying to get in. Jumping up and down, trying to get my attention is this little guy. I don't have ANY pull on who gets allowed through the ropes, but I certainly wasn't going to say anything to help him. I awkwardly ignored him and he disappeared in to the sea of people...oops.

 
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